Monday, May 4, 2015

Prepared for this ride?

Our weekend was busy.  We had company for which I am grateful as Rich loved holding Gunner who is a newborn.

Here is the Cliff Note Version of our last few days since Friday which went well.
Rich wore himself out being the 'host with the most'.  He took our guests to lunch and stayed up most of the day when he should have been resting.

That evening he said he'd do chores while the mom of the children took her wee ones and went to Walmart in town for diapers.  I took her husband out for a lesson on long exposures.
I enjoyed that immensely after working all day.

We came home and NO Rich.  He was in the bathroom. He said he'd felt dizzy doing chores, weak, and thought he wasn't going to make it back to the house.

I helped him to bed and get undressed.  Later I brought him water when he said his mouth was so dry.  I tried to give him some Biotene to rinse with as it was prescribed for this very reason.

Let us just say that his extra activity and his treatments knocked him totally on his arse.  
He kept telling me that he felt strange and he couldn't describe it.
Then he would say he felt like if he ate he might throw it up.  I told him that was nausea and to take his nausea medicine.  He flatly refused.

Sunday wasn't much better but our visiting friends said he ate cereal and an egg scrambled but nothing else.  He was drinking water though.

We spoke with the Social Worker for Radiation Therapy. Jackie told Rich that he'd lost 6lbs over the weekend and she was concerned.
We discussed the weekend and she said that food having an off taste was fairly normal for this.
She recommended that he start taking his anti nausea meds and begin PEG feeding with one can per day.

Let's cut to the chase.
He ate a good lunch.  Then spent the rest of the day in bed.
I got him up to eat.
He came downstairs and told me he wasn't eating.

I made a chocolate malt with 'Ensure' mixed in.  He drank two glasses.  Then announced his intent to go to bed.

I brought out the Jevity and said that he needed to have one of those before bed. 

The look of anger on his face was a new thing for me.  He swore and then told me to 'get on with it'.  I helped him pour the liquid into the tube and then held it.

He kept getting more angry, the 'liquid food' wasn't going down fast enough for him.  Patience was not something he had very much of.  He pushed it down and then told me to put the rest of the Jevity in the fridge.

I dumped it and tossed the syringe.  Okay, let me rephrase that.
I didn't just dump it...I dumped it and then threw it as hard as I could into the recycling bag.

If he'd had the strength, he would have stomped up the stairs to bed.  I helped him undress and turn on the CPAP and Oxygenator.

I asked him if he was going to take his night meds.  He waved a hand at me.

Really?  Is this how it is going to go?  He will be sweet and nice when talking to the nurses and mean and cranky when we are alone and refuse to really do what he is supposed to?

Day 4 of Radiation.  Day 6 since first treatment.
And I wonder truly if I am prepared for this ride.


  1. You're being tested, St. Val! It sounds like Rich is not "all in" yet on this process. Would it be helpful if he could talk to people who have already been through it?

  2. Same thing here............Nice to everyone but me.

    But like a therapist once told me....."They will be mean to the ones they KNOW will not stop loving them."

    1. And this is why I love having the woods near, I can go out and scream at the trees when necessary.