13 days

Well, here it is, 13 days of going straight at it.

I think this is where I can look back and say I've got a bit of Care Giver Burnout.

It isn't pretty.
A Care Giver who doesn't take a break can be cranky, tired, overwhelmed, and sometimes even not so pleasant.

I'm trying to be pleasant, but I hear myself as a Nag.

"Did you take your medicines?"
"What did you eat?"
"How is your stomach?"

You get the idea.

I reminded him this morning that we had only 45 minutes before we had to leave. 
It was a nag, it was a push, it was...well, it was the truth.

I hate my job today.  I would just love to let him rest and do exactly what he wanted.
But course of treatment dictates otherwise.

He is tired, he is not feeling good, he is losing weight.  Getting the stomach on a happy medium is nearly impossible.
We swing from one extreme to the other.  
He resists the thought of taking Jevity which will keep him alive.  I do not remind him that if he continues to not take it and loses more weight that Nurse Ronnie will just have him admitted to the hospital.


Making up food that he can eat consumes most of my free time.  
I've joined a site called CancerCompass that has great information on all types of cancer.

There are tips on how to get through, what might be helpful to eat, what people's experiences were and lots of support.

There is even a section for Care Givers.

I wonder if a care giver experiences frustration also when a patient who feels miserable is not very cooperative.
13 days since we started.

We still have until mid June just for the daily treatments.  And then follow ups after that and dealing with the longer lasting Radiation side effects.

Onward.