Rambling Widow Wierdness

 

The above screen grabs still are ringing quite true for me.

These words found on social media is exactly how I feel even just over a year after Rich's death. 

And still I get:

"It had to have been difficult"

Me thinking. "You have no idea."

"But you are doing so well now. He is in a better place."

Me thinking. "I was grounded when he was by my side. That was the better place."

"Look at all you have done!"

Me thinking: "All these were projects we were going to do together."

I don't want to sound pessimistic at all. Mostly my days are good. But I'll be driving somewhere and a song comes on the radio that just makes me want to pull over and cry. I don't, but it feels like it. 

Grief does that to you. It goes away for a while and then something triggers it and 

BAM

you are grieving again. But you do it privately because you don't want to bother anyone with it. 

Then the weirdness happens. 

This past month, I've had two men 'hit' on me. I'm not kidding. One was subtle and one was not. 

My reaction was anger and discomfort. How dare someone even think that?

When one meets a soulmate they don't get over it and move on. 

Widow weirdness. Today, Veteran's Day marks 14 months. But who was counting? No one but me.

Those 11's sure suck.