Friday, May 9, 2025

Respite success and failures


We have been approved for 8 hrs a week Respite Care. This was a hard decision to make. I mean how can I leave his care for 4 hours to a complete stranger. Of course we had resisted, but after talking to a social worker I relented.

The care team used an agency to hire someone to come out twice a week. I chose my days that I go to the gym to work out. I can actually work out and then if I need to, get groceries, meds, run errands, or simply do on a picnic by myself [or coffee with friends].

The first week was a disaster. The Home Health Aide didn't show, didn't call, and made excuses to the agency. The second date was no call no show. I was pretty upset and called my Social Worker at the VA from the car as I headed to town to pick up meds and go to class.

Apparently that got things moving. By Friday afternoon I had a promise from the agency that another person had been found and she would be here on Tuesday. I was quite skeptical.

She showed up! 
She is a young single mom who has a cheerful and bright outlook. I gave her the quick rundown on things and off I went to class. 

I finished class and it felt very strange not to have to rush home and deal with the next set of medications or all the other things I generally do. In truth, I sat in my car for a few minutes trying to figure out what I could do and how to work out the timing of ... not doing my regular duties.

I did something I haven't done before. I went and purchased a lunch from a local co-op and then drove to a place where I go to see wildflowers in the spring.

I parked and opened the back of the Subaru and had a picnic. I listened to Tainter Creek making soft noises and then headed out on a little walk. I found plenty of wildflowers, Anemones, Virginia Bluebells, and some Blood Root that had dropped the blossoms. None of the trout lilies had blossoms either.

I didn't feel obligated to photo anything, I just felt like looking and admiring them.

I ended up walking to the old Cottonwood tree along a faint trail. I leaned up against the tree and listened to the creek and the birds in this steep valley. The valley is so steep in this spot that it often floods with rains and washes out our gravel roads. 

Truthfully, I was having a hard time not returning home right away. I had yet to figure out what to do with myself.

When I did get home I found that "Shay" had cleaned the floor [Charlie is a shedder galore!], made cookies, made Rich lunch, and had washed dishes and was looking for more light housework to do.

She and Rich got along just fine and she said she'd love to make homemade goodies while doing Respite. I said that was just wonderful as baking goodies was not my thing. Hubby enjoyed her company and she was very sweet and helpful. 

Today is Friday and she will come again. I'm trying to consider what to fill my 'free' time with. It almost seems obscene that I can have 'time off' for good behavior.

This is all new to me. Having someone come into my home while I am not there was a bit concerning to me at first. Then after my experience with Jason helping and now Shay, I am still a bit hesitant, but but I'm willing to give it a go. It is for hubby's safety after all and a bit of relief for me.


I think I'll take Charlie and go hunting for Trilliums and other spring flowers. It feels extravagant to have time like this.

Time immersed in Nature is always healing and soothing.


5 comments:

  1. I think it is so wonderful for you to have that little break, and lunch by the creek sounds quite wonderful. I suppose that out trilliums must be out too. They are our provincial flower, but I don't know if there is much point in photographing them one more time.

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  2. Oh such a good thing to find the right person to help with respite care. We need times out for sure and I am so thankful for a few minutes here and there. Enjoy those few minutes away to do the important stuff that takes time and effort and to rejuvinate yourself:) Cookie...what a nice gal to bake:)

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  3. Disappointing the first aid did not show and did not even call with an excuse. I'm sure it is difficult to leave. He is your "responsibility" and I bet you feel like you are shrinking the duty. It sounds like Shay is a good fit and hopefully you will be able to relax and . . . breathe for two mornings a week. You are doing a super job with all this.

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  4. I'm so glad this is working out for you and Rich. Let it happen. How many people come to your house make cookies and serve lunch? It sounds like you have connected with the right person. Enjoy your hours of respite doing what you love to do. Lori

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much. Yes! She even came and cleaned house and did laundry while I took a nap on Tuesday. Such an angel.

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