I'd be one of those who would be effected by dates and anniversaries. I thought for sure I would easily deal with all of that stuff after losing Rich.
Huh.
I am not.
His birthday is coming up and I can't stop thinking about it.
His birthday is coming up and I can't stop thinking about it.
We hardly gave it a thought when he was alive. I'd usually make something he'd requested for supper.
You know.
Steak and 'Tators. It was easy.
Now this whole week feels focused on Saturday. I can't stop letting the date run through my mind.
When he was well, we'd go riding to hunt for interesting stuff we could find in the woods.
He was born on April 11th.
He was drafted on May 11th.
He died on September 11th. So each month I am reminded on the 11th.
Saturday marks another 11th.
So this whole week I am really struggling. Because his birthday is coming up. Except it isn't his birthday any more. He won't have any more Holidays and birthdays with me.
I thought I'd be okay. I really did. But there is that stupid 11 on the calendar, and this year, I will put a cupcake on the table for him and light a candle.
I'll do this alone and I'll think about him.
I sure miss that goofy guy.
His laugh was infectious as it was loud and pleasant.
So yeah.
Here I am waiting on the 11th of April to honor him quietly in some way.
Always and forever in my heart.
I get this. My husband died on our son's birthday, so we honor him on his own birthday. It's in June and he loved strawberries, so I'd make him a strawberry shortcake birthday cake thing. I still do strawberries for his birthday, many years later. It's good to do a little something for Rich, too. It's for you as well.
ReplyDeleteGood idea.
DeleteI look forward to your post here. They are poignant and real.
ReplyDeleteThanks.
DeleteI'm glad you feel comfortable to share with us. I will be thinking of you and Rich on the 11th, too. Boud's idea is such a good one.
ReplyDeleteThanks, I will be celebrating his birthday privately.
Delete