The Cowboy way

 Hi there. 

I thought I'd better check in with you. I don't know how this happened, but I am getting into my old groove again. By that, I mean I am doing sociable things. Hiking, riding, going out for coffee, joining a photography club, and learning to be alive again.

But every time I turn around, I find some wonderful memory popping up. 

You were standing next to the horse trailer with my mare, Cheyanne, saddled up and waiting. Your mule, Fred, was tied up next to her.

In your hand you had a cold beer waiting for me. You were casually leaning against your mule with a crooked grin on your face. 

I knew then as a 'newlywed' that I had died and ended up in marital heaven. 

You laughed and told me to grab my boots. We were going riding. I sipped the cold beer as we rode out.

Forget supper, this was cowboy romance.

The evening sun was pleasant. We rode through the neighbor's pasture gate and past the herd of beef cattle.

We found a scrub apple tree and tied up our mounts. 

You tossed a your shirt on the pasture grass.

The sunset was amazing. We watched the moon rise as our mounts munched on grass. You blew clouds of smoke into the air and leaned in...

You can guess the rest. Cowboy courtin'.

I only have those memories now.

Tonight this one smacked me right in the face as I sat on Siera and watched the sun start to fade.

I blush, remembering it.

No, I haven't met anyone. Hannah is helping fill the big aching hole in my heart. Puppies. What can I say? She demands so much, it keeps me busy.

Charlie keeps me grounded. He keeps me on track.

The mules? 

They spark the memories of the cowboy-muleman romance. 

Tonight, while riding Siera in the forest, I felt something like joy. I felt my heart warm.

That engaging memory flowed through me.

I hadn't felt like that in years. I gasped and then smiled. 

My my cheeks turn red. I sensed your presence.

Somehow I am having a joyful week. I should feel sad or perhaps guilty. But I'm going to take the joy and embrace it.

The pain will hit again, but I'm smiling when I think of you and your cowboy ways.

And that shirt on the ground.