A good visit [s]

I got a text from Ariel that said she was coming by herself on Saturday to see her Grandpa. I made note of that. It is a 3 hour drive for her. Her mom and husband went home on Thursday after we'd moved the bed and she'd seen her father sitting in the wheelchair with the nurse.

I wasn't terribly surprised. Ariel has gotten a pretty independent streak after moving out of her parents home. I had to laugh when Ariel said she was coming by herself to see her Grandpa as she said her mom was too full of drama. Her mom has a vehicle too and she knows how to get to our house and she lives closer.

Ariel just wanted to quietly sit with her Grandpa.

 

Steve came. He is so reliable right now that Charlie waits sitting on his chair listening for the sound of Steve's car engine.

Nurse Scott and I went over our meds once more as he talked a bit with Rich. The night/evening agitation was getting stronger. The meds are looked at daily and adjusted to what is going on. 

Rich perked up when he saw Steve arrive once more. Steve chatted to him then sat quietly with him after Nurse Scott left. 

Ariel arrived and Steve headed out with the promise of coming tomorrow. I can see that this is very hard on him.

Rich grinned from ear to ear when Ariel asked if she could lean over the bed and and give him a hug.

The afternoon wore on and we had a few more restless episodes where he tried to get out of bed and pull out that annoying catheter. He didn't know what it was each of those times.

When the Chaplain Lisa arrived he was pretty quiet and was resting. Suddenly he asked for a Pepsi and I said I'd grab him one.
When I went around the corner to get one, he grabbed the mattress and struggled. The Chaplain moved quickly and supported him so he wouldn't fall.

We got him set up safely. He downed half a small bottle of Pepsi quickly and then started to go into respiratory distress.

I was aware of Ariel behind me and the Chaplain sitting and supporting Rich on the bed while I knelt in front of him and helped him do pursed lip breathing while I watched the 02 meter start climbing from some alarming numbers. I yanked out the Nebulizer and helped ease his breathing more.

Once stabilized, he was exhausted.

Above and beyond her call of duty, Chaplain Lisa stayed to help me settle him back in bed and we used a folded sheet to move him into a comfortable position.

The rest of the day and night, Rich started talking rather loudly and with animated hands. Most of the words weren't understandable, but sometimes they were. He laughed a lot. 

He was asleep while he was doing this.

I had to check every half hour as he was pulling off his 02 hose and wrapping it around his hands and fidgeting with it while he was asleep.
I finally grabbed a fresh new hose and put it in his hands to hold.
He is still holding it this morning.

Note. Side rails are such wonderful gifts on a bed.

If anyone considers Home Hospice, I would recommend it. At least consider that in the final days [at least with us] a nurse comes every day. It is not a 5 minute visit. The nurse spends time with the patient observing and asking questions. The nurse calls the attending doctor and updates them to see what can be done for more comfort or what needs have to be met. 

Rich is treated with the utmost respect and included in anything he may understand. 

Family participation is recommended to give the primary Careperson a chance to rest or perhaps even take a shower.

My personal opinion is that even though there are a lot of rough patches and angst along with times you want to just give up, it is the last loving act you can give to a loved one. I won't lie, it consumes your heart and soul, but leaving him in the hands of strangers in an ICU with cold beeping machines or in a nursing home with other strangers just doesn't feel quite right.

Home Hospice cares for the dying patient as well as trying to support the family and Caregiver[s] as much as possible.

And yes, there were several times I have wanted to throw up my hands and quit. But I cannot do that to my soulmate.

I wouldn't trade this past summer for the world. From March when he was released from the hospital until now, we've had a 'good' ride.