I was pleased when his daughter called to 'see' how dad was doing. I gave her the run down and said I was a bit swamped still with catching up with spending the last week in hospital with her dad and processing all of the changes with Hospice Care.
I told her that I had an aide coming out today to help sponge bathe her dad. She commented in a very odd way that she was happy about that and looked forward to him being able to do his showers and toilet things all on his own again.
What part of me doing most of that work for the past 4 years has evaded her?
She thought is that since he was released, he is OK. Meaning healed? Meaning all better? Perhaps. Cured.
He was released because he wanted to go home and didn't care if he got better. He just wanted to be home with with Charlie, the birds, and his mules.
Today was another flurry of Hospice help. Rich got a 'bed' bath. Amazing what a home aide can do! He felt so good after that was done but also tired.
Jesse, a social worker, came out and sat with Charlie and I on the couch. We went over the paperwork again along with the slight change in medications.
It sounds like the nurse who will be in charge is visiting tomorrow.
I know it sounds like too much going on in this situation, but this is the way to get things started.
Since nothing much more is needed here right now, I'll probably be getting back to my regular blog for a while.
I am very impressed with the support, but I am not impressed by daughter.
ReplyDeleteHaha, this morning Rich decided he had to get up and sit in kitchen because he was awake. So I had to get up too. This may be a long day.
DeleteHopefully this is not a new pattern.
I will get grumpy.
Hospice workers are special, so glad that you got extra good ones. Maybe one of the hospice workers should explain everything to the daughter...she is obviously out of touch with reality...perhaps she is having a hard time coming to grips with the end of life.
ReplyDeleteI think Aurora hit it on the head. We all may cope differently. So I should just think of it that way. Sometimes we don't want to believe that someone is really ill.
DeleteSounds like the daughter was wishful thinking. Everyone is different with how they cope, including denial.
ReplyDeleteIt is okay to get grumpy. Do what you gotta do.
So nice that Rich is receiving compassionate Hospice care.
Everyone is different in how they cope and I need to recognize that. I see it through my eyes and not others, so I am trying.
DeleteI am so sad to read all this Val. I decided to pop in as I noticed your had two other blogs and wanted to visit them. Perhaps your daughter is in denial. In tough situations in the past, and when a lot younger, I tended to 'shut down' and live in my own little happy world. I wasn't proud of it later on in life, but it was a coping mechanism I suppose. Not much support for you though. I'm glad you have good hospice care nurses. The toughest job in the world seems to be a full-time caregiver.
ReplyDeleteThe more I learn, the more I understand that there is even a grief for losing a parent slowly and it helps to believe that it will not happen to some.
DeleteI grieved for the husband I lost over and over as each stage has lead to this.
Now I feel I accept it, except I'm sure it will hit me hard when the end does come no matter how much I think I am prepared.
I agree with the word Aurora used, compassionate. I have found hospice in my family's lives has been so compassionate and I am glad that the people you are in contact with are like that with you and Rich.
ReplyDeleteI think his daughter has been in denial for a long time. She stays away because the reality of the situation is too much for her. I wish she could be more of a support and comfort and help to you, but I don't think that is in her wheelhouse.
You are such a tremendous support to your husband as his caregiver. I'm glad you have more help now and I am so glad for the both of you that he is home where he wants to be. You are both in my thoughts as you navigate this journey.