Weekends in hospital

The weekends in a hospital are not exactly full of useful info. I mean a doctor looks in and does their thing.  

What I wish for is a heart to heart conversation, but Dr. P and I sort of had that on Friday. The Living Will and DNR papers are active for now. If he were to go home and come back, I'd have to make sure they know those papers need to be activated as every time a patient comes in, they are considered a Code patient. Meaning, they will save the life if at all possible.

This is pretty good information to know.

Her opinion was 'wait and see'. 

He did have a minor improvement in being able to breathe. Not enough to come off the High Flow Therapy. It is specialized equipment meant for those who have orders not to be put on a ventilator or a DNR order. However, according to studies, dramatic improvement happens in 24 hrs.

That drama has not happened. 

Rich and I discussed trying to find out Monday if he can somehow be put on Hospice at home to pass away. He doesn't want to fight and he doesn't want to stay in a hospital.

Saturday was pretty quiet at the hospital, I sat and read and spoke to the nurses who were all kind and very positive. Apparently Rich is a favorite patient as the nurses quibble over who gets assigned to him for the day. Steroids, antibiotics, and lots of nebulizer treatments all day, all night are what he has going on. 

Rich and I were able to have time to talk about things and his wish is to be able to get off the specialized equipment and to come home with Hospice involved. That would mean visits by a nurse at home and no re-admission with his next exacerbation of his COPD.

The goal for the weekend was to transfer him to a recliner and see if he could tolerate a reduction in the high flow therapy.

Sunday was interesting. Rich's ol' fishing buddy came to see him. While the two visited [Steve said Rich just slept part of the time], I met up with my Legend Girls for coffee for an hour. We chatted and told funny stories and talked about places we'd dreamt about visiting.

I spoke with his Resp. Therapist in the hallway and asked her if she thought he'd be able to come home with Hospice. I told her that we'd discussed it. She said that was an excellent program for him and his wishes. 

When I came back from coffee time, Rich's daughter, her hubby, Ariel, and Steve were all in the room. 

Since Steve was ready to leave, I took the advantage of that. Ariel and I went home to take Charlie for a nice long walk on our gravel road so he could do his doggy stuff. 

On the way back in...I  stopped to see the nurses. The daughter, her hubby and a surprise visit from our friends in Missouri had all visited but had gone out to lunch.

The nurses said Rich was exhausted. They put a Quiet Time sign on his door and I texted all visitors that Rich was not going to see anyone from lunch until at least 3 or 4pm, they had to see me first in the family waiting room.

So the end result of Sunday was that a lot of folks came by. He did get in the recliner. They did reduce the airflow on his High Flow pillow cannula and he did seem to have a slight improvement in breathing. 

He actually ate 3 bites of an omelet at breakfast, drank water, had a milkshake for lunch, and had half a little burger and a milkshake for his supper.

Monday. Today, I hope to get some sort of directions from a doctor as to whether our plan and goals are even doable. I will be calling the VA Social 'Miracle' Worker to see what our options are through the Veteran's Administration.

The Missouri folks will stop in shortly to see Rich this morning and then they will head home.

Tuesday afternoon we have a Winter Storm Watch with blizzard conditions possible, high winds, and either rain and snow for us or 6" of wet heavy stuff.
If I am forced to be home through the storm, I will catch up on rest, and get the laundry folded.

I have to include this in my update for this morning. People and neighbors are incredible. 

There were visits to Charlie, there was prepared food put in my frig, and groceries left on my counter. This all done just because.

911 where is your emergency?

I gave him my address which appeared on his call board as I called from our landline.

"What is the nature of your emergency?"

My husband, difficulty breathing, he has severe COPD and contracted a cold.

We went through his name, age, and a quick medical background. Then assured me that help had been dispatched and an AED was on the way.

I'd put Charlie in the bedroom upstairs, moved things around for the medics to make getting through the house with a stretcher easier.

The dispatcher asked that I put any pets in another room. Done, I told him, and I said I had to move my vehicle to make parking easier for the rig. 

Done, done, done....

The first vehicle to show up was a Sheriff's Deputy. A text from Olive on the ridge said that her husband had run out to the road to make sure they could find our address. [I'd texted her to let her know why she'd see emergency vehicles coming down the road with lights on]

Next came the the Fire Department Suburban.

I thanked my lucky stars that we didn't just have a snowstorm. 

The amazing part is that in this rural part of Wisconsin emergency services are quick, polite, and well prepared. A few times the head Paramedic asked me if his DNR bracelet was still in his wishes. I said that he stood by them and so did I. 

We drew the best ER doctor we could possible get. His father was a well loved doctor here for decades. Little Mac moved to the area several years ago to be with his father as he retired, leaving the Chicago Cook County ED. If you have ever been to Cook County ED, you know it is one of the biggest mad houses in the universe.

When Rich's fingers began to turn blue when I was talking with the ER nurse, things got hectic. Little Mac rushed in, the upped the 02 in the cannula, a respiratory therapist left to get a specialized mask. I stepped out of the way. I watched his body jerk and his eyes close as he struggled for air.

The specialized mask was put over his face and head. It is often used in ICU's and is the predecessor to being intubated and put on a ventilator. Again Little Mac asked if the DNR was indeed what Rich wished. I said yes. 

It took some time for them to get him stabilized. The respiratory therapists proved their mettle as they worked with the Nebulizers, the mask, and cared for him.

Once he was in stable but critical condition we discussed what next. Little Mac didn't feel he was stable enough to go quite yet to a larger hospital. He'd need special care with that portable ventilator.

To the doc's credit, he was able to communicate this to Rich. Rich asked to stay here locally. Little Mac said he'd have to come off the specialized mask. They spoke quietly about his wishes.

Little Mac went over it more than once. 

"Let me be perfectly clear, you want no life saving measures if you have another episode." He looked at Rich who nodded and breathed out. "Yes."

Little Mac looked at me.

"Yes, his wishes are my wishes. I stand by him."

~~~

So how does this feel? 
It makes your heart race, your chest hurt and your soul cringe.

While his daughter was still at the hospital I went to work out at the gym with my Fellow Legends.
Burning off the interior feelings of helplessness, rage, fear, and anxiety really helped. 63 burpees along with 63 dumbbell lifts, and 180 feet of lunges helped chill me down.

I was able to go back to the hospital and face the new attending doctor along with her questions. So this morning I'll bring in his Living Will along with his DNR papers so they can have it for their files.

I stayed all day and read a book while he rested and read a book. The library is providing good reading while I tend my soulmate.

I am weary but determined.