Offering some hope

We met with Rich's PCP...Primary Care Provider this week.

She is one very straight forward person and she also tells you like it is.

"How are you today Mr. Ewing?"

Rich shrugs. "I'm dying bit by bit."

She answers, "We all are, but I understand how you are feeling. Your meeting with Neuro-psychology flagged you for severe depression. We need to turn that around as quickly as possible."

Rich stares at the floor and then something far away. "Nothing can make me feel better, I just want to feel better once, you know?"

She nods. "Of course you do! I've put in a call to your psychiatrist and he needs to review you AND see you ASAP."

I interject. "I wonder if his meds don't work any longer. Rich has a history of his medications for depression working well for about 6 to 8 years...and then..."

She nods and types swiftly, "You are absolutely right. We may end up with a different regime of meds. And speaking of that we are going to stop the Tamulosin right away. I think you have had nothing but poor reactions to it..."

I pipe up. "I know Rich doesn't want this, but can we look at oxygen therapy? Lately he can't function very long without going back to lay down with his CPAP and 02. He feels extremely fatigued and 'out of it'."

She nods sand turns to Rich. "We will test you, and your heart, your lungs are not elastic so you may need oxygen to keep from damaging your heart, lungs, and brain further. Are you open to that?"

Rich makes a face.

Doctor pats him on the back and says, "Struggling to think, to walk, to breath, is no fun. This will help."

I point out that since he spends up to all but 4 to 5 hours a day with his CPAP and 02, that he is already ON oxygen. She agrees and I see Rich make that connection.

He asks about the aneurysm. She looks at it and says, "If they want to do it, go for it. IF you go in alive you come out just fine." She is not being cavalier, just straight forward.

She types some more.
"I'm ordering a stress test for your heart. I'm putting in for an immediate re-eval of your psych meds."

Then she turns to him. "You know, you are dying, we all are, but I think we can make some adjustments so you don't feel so depressed, so tired, and so frustrated.
I'm going to put you on Aricept for your dementia. I see you will be visiting speech therapy, OT, and cognitive therapy."

She raises her hand and draws a line. "I want to hold you here for along time. Mr. Ewing, you will live and you will feel better. You have a good partner and wife, she is looking out for you."

We leave and I think we both feel a bit of hope.

Is it real hope? I believe so. Because not believing it is not going to help us.
Hope always helps.