Music and Birdsong

So again today too many folks showed up. Tammy the respite worker was scheduled and she talked briefly with Rich to find out if he wanted Peanut butter cookies or a cooked lunch.

He couldn't exactly tell her what she wanted, he got stuck with the words which happened often after his stroke but was really exaggerated now. We asked Peanut Butter and he nodded.

She started to get things ready and we chatted while I cleaned up some dishes and gave her an idea of what was supposed to happen. Hubby's daughter and her husband showed up at the same time as life long friend Steve.

I'd already pulled the mattress off the double bed I'd been using and taken everything apart and tossed stuff in the wash. I'd washed the windows in the corner of the living room so he'd have nice clean windows to watch the outside world with. I moved bird feeders close in so the activity would be evident even if he wasn't watching for it.

We had decided to move his hospital bed to the best view in the house and he didn't want it at first. But the little bedroom is pretty boring. During the move of 'stuff' he got pretty agitated. I'd told everyone they had to stay outside while the nurse and I got things moved around.

Friend Steve took Charlie for a ride in his car [Charlie was over the moon]. The other two waited on the porch. [It was cold!]

Tammy understood what was going on and stayed out of everyone's hair. 

I'll make it short. Once everyone was gone, hubby settled down and took a good nap. 

He is moving into Terminal Delirium language. Fidgeting [Terminal Restlessness], making motions, and stopping mid speech. It is much worse in the afternoon to evening. 

Terminal Delirium is a physiological sign that the body and the mind are slowly shutting down. He can be perfectly lucid one moment and nonsensical the next. 

I've learned to just seem to understand and let it go. I never ask him to explain or elaborate. It passes.

I have noticed though that with his buddy Steve he is more animated and laughs a lot. Steve just waits when hubby shuts his eyes and when Rich is ready, he chats again telling him stories. 

He was so happy to see his daughter but she kept asking too many questions. Finally he just waved his hands at her to go away. Questions are bothersome, soft chatting is better. 

Too many folks at once irritate him. My bad--> Duh on my part.

He may be happy to say hello for a second or two, but two people is too many. This is something the Chaplain and one of the other nurses had warned us of. 

One of the Home Health Aides suggested that I play some music that he likes softly in the background.

I did that this afternoon and watched as hubby tapped his hands against his legs in time to some of the songs. I'm beginning to recognize the beat of the music that effects him. 

Things I am learning:

Music is a universal language.

All at once [visitors] is bad and distressing.

Quiet is good. 

Bird watching is good.

Last note. He refused the peanut butter cookies and most anything I'm offering to eat now.

Shhhh...let's listen to the music and the bird song.

It's enough for me today.