MDD

Major Depressive Disorder sometimes doesn't respond well to medications.

My husband has battled ... or lived with depression for many years. Treatments come and go in the form of "Let's try this medication or try this medication". Sometimes the meds fail miserably.

Rich is a very unusual person in that most prescribed meds seem to have severe side effects in some way. His medications for depression seem to take the edge of for a few years and then stop working.

During his treatments for Throat Cancer he had an anaphylactic reaction to a 'safe' chemo medication.

The cycle came around again. The last time we saw Lindsey [Rich's psychologist] I told her exactly what would happen. I also met his psychiatrist in the hallway and cornered him with Rich's previous psychiatrist.
I warned the doctors of what was going to happen and what had happened over the years.

"Rich is a train wreck speeding towards a crash and burn again. And you guys need to know this, it gets worse and worse ... he speeds like a locomotive out of control and then hits the end of the tracks..." I took my hands and threw them in the air, "..and boom. I am sitting in the ER with him and I keep coming back until he is admitted for an in hospital evaluation." I pointed at the doctors and then said, "You know it. You do. Look at the records for the past 20 years. Let us prevent that train wreck."

Oh they nodded and agreed. And as before, they suggested a change in medications.
I'd made my point that day but knew I'd be making that drive to the ER soon enough, but hoped that I wouldn't have to.

Over the past week Rich's depression worsened. He did get up a few times and interacted with our company but retreated to the bed. I noticed that he didn't want to take his medications, he didn't want to drink fluids, he just wanted to be in bed and then complained that all he could do was lay down and stare at the ceiling fan.
By Monday morning he had withdrawn completely.

I called and talked to the triage nurse and I knew that we'd be heading to Madison.

He was admitted for MDD that was severe.
Different treatments were discussed and reviewed by the Mental Health team.

It seems that he will be a candidate for Ketamine Infusion.
I'd never heard of it before.

...And forever, I will support him and help in whatever way I can...

You're broken down and tired
Of living life on a merry go round
And you can't find the fighter

When the silence isn't quiet
And it feels like it's getting hard to breathe
And I know you feel like dying
But I promise we'll take the world to its feet
And move mountains
We'll take it to its feet
And move mountains

And I'll rise up
I'll rise like the day
I'll rise up
I'll rise unafraid
I'll rise up
And I'll do it a thousand times again
And I'll rise up
High like the waves
I'll rise up
In spite of the ache
I'll rise up
And I'll do it a thousands times again
For you
For you
For you
For you

[Andra Day: Rise Up]