Just go back to sleep!

 This was one of my favorite books when my boys were very little. Somewhere there may even be a dog eared and chewed up copy in a box.

Both boys would take turns fighting bed time. As a young mom I thought it was funny.

Now? Hubby is tired and he wants to go to bed to nap a lot. However, now it seems if he awakens in the middle of the night to use the commode, he can't or doesn't want to go back to sleep. I am no longer that young mom who could power through fatigue. In fact I want to yell at him those famous words by Mercer Mayer. "Just go to Bed!"

Of course I don't. Some nights I can convince him to lay back down and I'll turn out the lights once more. Some nights/early morning I can't convince him to lay back down. 

He gets dressed. Slowly. There is a lot of rest between each part of getting dressed. He doesn't want my help, so I watch.

More nights with a 3AM or earlier rise has happened this week. There have been more signs of what the Hospice Team calls Progression. The leg and foot edema is getting much worse along with bloody urine. Gross. Who would ever think of discussing that subject? We did see it. It was alarming.

The blood thinners were discontinued. Rich was actually quite happy about that. Less pills to take! And so far this helped control the issue. No tests are done to find out why it happened, but there are reasons for it. If he'd had a UTI, he would have gotten antibiotics so he'd be comfortable. But he had no pain.

We progress onward. Oddly enough, even though he is very tired all of the time, Rich is actually happier now than he has been in years. 

His short term memory is quite bad. I have a new way of answering his repeat questions. I don't tell him that I've already told him the answer more than once. I just answer the question as if it was asked the first time.

I don't care now so much that I may get asked the same question 4 or 5 times a day. One day he won't ask. So there is that.

This past week has been a bit tougher. Three nights of 'short' sleep and long days has been my reward for being a Caregiver. Thank goodness the Chaplain and the NP who came to see us did discuss how to make nights better for Rich ...

and how I could get my sleep too.

He knows that his wakeful nights are hard on me now. He'll sit in his wheelchair and fight the sleepiness and his fatigue. He expressed to the Chaplain that he was afraid if he took naps during the day, he'd keep me awake at night. 

What a conundrum. His shortness of breath makes him forgetful and fatigued. But he is afraid of waking up and keeping me awake.

Except when he forgets and nothing matters but getting up for some reason.

~~ Again, I've not written this to complain or ask for folks to feel sorry for me. I want others to know that they are not alone when giving care to a person in Hospice at home. I feel lucky enough to provide the care. 

Charlie. The dog knows.

There is more than one reason to have a dog.

Charlie.
He has been acting a little different lately. He chooses not to go outside with me to do chores in the morning. He insists on staying in the house near hubby. He insists on getting up into the hospital bed with him during hubby's naps.

Does he like that situation much better than going out and smelling things? Or does he know that his master is not well.

When Charlie was under a year old, my MIL entered a nursing home. Charlie was allowed to go see her on a regular basis. He'd sit on her bed quietly while she petted him. In the hallway as we'd walk in or out residences would ask to pet him. Since he is only 7 inches tall, I'd lift him up so people could pet him.

Charlie would wag his tail furiously and make little soft noises. Sometimes a resident would give Charlie a ride in their wheelchair. Charlie would sit quietly and proudly as if he was a tiny king.

Charlie's nursing home visits stopped with Covid. I asked about going once more and since my MIL was no longer a resident [she died during Covid], they wanted Charlie to be a licensed Canine Good Citizen.

Poor Charlie. Sit, stay, down, are not in his vocabulary. 

Waggy Tails, Grunting with Pleasure, Wiggling, and being absolutely Cute are his strong points. Being silent and snuggling up to people are another.

Charlie now greets the hospice people with Wiggling and Happy Grunting [his Pekinese mom grunts with pleasure].

He will sit on his chair and take in all the conversation between Hospice and hubby.

When hubby gets his sponge bath, Charlie has to sit on the bed and oversee the process. He lays on the end of the bed and watches. Still as a statue.

Lately he is spending more time watching hubby. His every move is followed. Normally Charlie will take his place on the couch or his chair in the eating area and snooze while keeping a sleepy eye on the activity in the house.

Now he follows the wheelchair everywhere. 

I'd say that he is an exceptional Emotional Support Dog. Does he know what he is doing? Probably not. 

I looked up Emotional Support Dog and was surprised at how easy it is to get an animal certified without any special training.   Hmmmm.

That aside. Charlie knows.
He knows that one of his people needs his warm little body next to his and that somehow it makes that person feel better.

Seven years ago I brought home this funky little puppy and my husband said, "Well, what is he good for?" I handed the pup to my husband and he snuggled right in and made himself at home.

Indeed, what is he good for?

Charlie, you do not need a letter or a certification. We now know your purpose. 

And it is appreciated.